​ALL MODESTY ASIDE…

Don’t be so humble. You’re not that great.  ​

Wisdom Wherever You Find It
 
Don’t be so humble. You’re not that great.    Golda Meir
 
The term “humble brag” is of very recent origin, but the behavior it describes has been around a long time.  Someone who makes a self-deprecating comment in order to draw attention to something they really want to boast about is humble bragging.  Imagine FDR saying, “I really didn’t deserve to win a record-breaking fourth consecutive term as president.” Or Simone Biles tweeting, “I am just too tiny to have beaten all those longer, stronger gymnasts.” Or Bill Gates proclaiming, “I’m really not that generous; it’s just that when you are the richest person in history you have to do something with all that money.”
 
According to Simcha Dinitz, who was a close aide to Golda Meir, this quotation was something she said many times. There is no authenticated recipient of this excruciating put-down, but it is delicious to imagine who the first victim might have been. If Golda were there, it might have been our father Jacob, who effaced himself before the Holy One (Genesis 32:11) by protesting, “I am a smaller person than deserves all the kindness and honesty that You have done for me…”
 
When I was in seminary, a fellow student was called upon to interpret a teaching in class by a notoriously tough professor. He began his remark with the Hebrew phrase, common among scholars, “According to my inadequate opinion,” at which moment the professor interjected, “That goes without saying.” It was Golda-worthy.
 
I must admit that I have my own history of humble bragging.  I am reminded of it every day that I sit behind my computer.  My ego wall, a well-known Washington practice, includes personal messages from three US Presidents, a governor, and a mayor.  And those are the ones I framed.  And lest you think that by closing them off in my office I am showing some restraint, I will also admit that it is the room we use for coats whenever we have guests. On my phone, ever at the ready, you can find pictures of me with actors, rockers, a country star or two, political figures, ambassadors, and an internationally-famous fashion designer with his arm around my wife. You can tell how humble I am about them because I did not mention any names.
 
What is the harm in a little braggadocio? Well, nothing really in and of itself.  I think it depends on the purpose. I think of the late civil rights hero John Lewis when I consider this dilemma. Here was a man who spent a lifetime using the example of his own life to inspire others to “get into good trouble.”  From his story of preaching to the chickens to his teenaged encounters with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Ralph Abernathy to his subsequent long career as one of the most consequential political leaders in American history, Lewis had no sense of shyness about what he had done and whom he knew.  The walls of his office in the House Office Building were covered with pictures of him with presidents, politicos, and people of the various movements he supported. He would, if asked, tell you the story of any of them. Depending on why you came to see him, he would steer you to a photograph of someone he hoped would inspire you.
 
Is that why I have pictures of prominent people on my office wall and smartphone?  Sure, that’s the ticket.
 
The fact is, all of us have accomplished something worth a brag, and pretending otherwise is some combination of insecurity and arrogance. It is also true that all of us have epically failed at something worth being ashamed of, and pretending otherwise is likewise a combination of insecurity and arrogance. What we did is worth the telling – but it’s over. Investing effort in being coy about any of it is, I think, a waste of time. And that’s Golda Meir’s point.
 
Just own it. And don’t flaunt it. But use your encounters and experience to get into some good trouble, and to encourage others to do so, too.  Then you really will be that great.