Aliba D'Rav
  • Home
  • About
  • Contact
  • Weekly Column
  • Politics
  • On being a rabbi
  • THE SIXTY FUND
  • SOMETHING SPECIAL
  • Wisdom Wherever You Find It

weekly column

Each week, find a commentary on something connected to verses of Torah or another source of wisdom

DON’T FORGET TO REMEMBER -- Deuteronomy 25:19

12/27/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture
 
The Last of Deuteronomy
 
Therefore, when the Lord your God grants you safety from all your enemies around you, in the land that the Lord your God is giving you as a hereditary possession, you shall blot out the memory of Amalek from under the heaven.  Do not forget.  Deuteronomy 25:19
 
Deprived of movie theaters and live venues during this pandemic, we spend a lot of time watching movies and streaming series on television.  There is a limited universe of actors, and inevitably we will recognize someone from something else we have watched.  Olivia Coleman, for example, seems to be in every British production of the last ten years.
 
Binge-watching may be an unusual way to learn an existential lesson, but I have come to a better understanding of the difference between remembering and not forgetting (likewise, forgetting and not remembering) in the two most frequent questions my wife and I ask each other in front of the TV.  The first is “did we see that already?”  The second is “what was she in?”
 
The first question is about forgetting.  If a movie or show has made a lasting impression on us, it will come to mind when we see the title or, often, any snippet from it.  I can rattle off dozens of my most unforgettable movies, including “Casablanca,” “The Wizard of Oz,” “Animal House” and, believe it or not, “Phantasm.” (I was so scared after a late-night showing of that movie that I drove straight home, not bothering with streets.)  There is no effort in recalling what I haven’t forgotten.  The pleasure or, God forbid, trauma has taken up residence in an accessible place in memory.  The tragedy of memory loss includes the deterioration of that automatic response.
 
The second question is about remembering.  With or without a hint of recognition, remembering is an active process of retrieval.  Where did I see that baby-faced actor who played Benny in “The Queen’s Gambit?” There is an almost physical effort involved as I mentally scan the scenes in which his image flickers until I figure it out. (Oh, yeah.  Thomas Brodie-Sangster, the kid in “Love Actually,” minus the ‘stache.)  Re-member-ing literally involves putting pieces back together, some of which are more accessible and some much less.
 
What does it take for an experience to be unforgettable, to live close enough to the surface that it is with us constantly?  There is a better chance of it when strong emotion is attached or, similarly, a profound sensory encounter. 
 
Witnessing the desert awaken to the morning sun, the passionate telling by a friend of his conversion, the sound of laughter after reciting an original joke, the electric anticipation when my courage overcame my insecurity as I leaned into my first kiss – these are unforgettable experiences.  I do not have to be instructed “do not forget.”  They are resident and accessible.
 
So, too, are traumas, both physical and emotional.  Like the hammer that misses a nail and leaves an impression on the wood, a blow to the heart or to the body makes for a visceral memory that is right at the surface. Light will reflect, liquid will pool, dust will collect differently, with or without intention.
 
It is logical, even sensible, to encourage someone whose memories are painful to try to forget.  After all, the constancy of that unforgettable memory can take over an entire life and even lead people to repeat the familiar but undesirable behavior.  An entire discipline of medicine is devoted to relieving rather than reliving.
 
Amalek, mentioned in the verse, was the hammer that purposely missed the nail.  The trauma of gratuitous violence against the small and lesser-abled – Amalek’s crime – left its indelible mark on the generation that fled from oppression.  To be sure, they would never forget.  But the atrocities were visited only on that generation, and so to prevent them from being committed by some other Amalek, they had to be remembered.  The story had to be told because the pain would eventually be forgotten.
 
It seems to be a paradox – remember so as not to forget.
 
The pain of our recent sufferings will not be forgotten.  But if we are to prevent them from being repeated in the future, then it is important that we don’t forget to remember.
 
 


0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Jack Moline is a rabbi, non-profit exec, and social commentator.  

    Archives

    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    October 2023
    July 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • About
  • Contact
  • Weekly Column
  • Politics
  • On being a rabbi
  • THE SIXTY FUND
  • SOMETHING SPECIAL
  • Wisdom Wherever You Find It